No more darkness, only light

So the first time that Guru saved me was on New Year’s Eve on a boat trip from Trinidad to Tobago. On the boat trip to Trinidad Guru asked me if I could find him a jackfruit. Because jackfruit was out of season, I went all over Trinidad looking for it. I had so much joy going all over the place. Finally I found one man who said, “I don’t have any now but in a week I can get it for you.” I said, “That’s perfect because we will be going back tonight, which is New Year’s Eve. We will be going back to Tobago and in four or five days we will be flying home from Trinidad. We’ll be flying home. And on that day, I will come see you.”

On the boat trip back, a man, not in our group, had a heart attack. I was a medical student then and I heard people saying, “Is there a doctor? Is there a doctor?” I ran over to the man. There was also a doctor there, and both of us went to see the man.

The man actually was not alive. He did not have a pulse, but we tried to bring him back. My friend the doctor was pushing on his chest, and I was breathing. We were trying very hard. When I was trying to help the man breathe, he gave a cough. Often times it is called a death cough. Often times after a person passes on, their lungs release air. The man gave a cough and something from inside him, like his saliva, went into me. What happened was that he passed away; we could not bring him back.

After about an hour, I started to get a fever. I started getting very weak and had a very high fever. By the time we got back to Tobago, I was so sick. I remember going back to my room. We were staying in cabins. I could only lie down, I was so weak. For three or four days I felt so bad. I was so sick.

Guru was asking and asking about me and sent people to help me all the time. Around the clock, people were helping me. But I was so weak… I was very, very weak and my fever was so high. Where we were there were hardly any doctors. Even after four days, I was still so very weak, and the fever was still very high. We went back to Trinidad to the airport. It was very, very hot, I remember. I was so weak that I could only lie down by a tree waiting for the airplane.

In the meantime, remember that I had arranged with a man to get a jackfruit for Guru. I had arranged to meet the man at the airport. He had a big and beautiful jackfruit that he had brought for Guru. The disciples opened it up and prepared it for Guru. Guru came over to me and gave me by his hand a piece of jackfruit and said “Long live Agraha.”

On the airplane I was very grateful to Guru and also grateful that my prasad had come. When we got back to New York, I was so sick and my fever was so high that the boys took me straight to the hospital. They didn’t even go home. I was so sick and so weak. Besides the fever I was just very, very ill.

The doctors could not find out the cause. They gave me every antibiotic and it was not working. They told my friends that they should “call his family because he will not live.”

By that time, I was in the intensive care unit. I remember Guru came into the hospital. No one was allowed in the intensive care unit, but Guru came in. Somehow, he got physically into the room.

I forgot one thing. The night before it was so hard for me to breathe that I wanted to give up breathing. I remember thinking late at night, “Let me just stop… it is so hard to breathe!” I could hear Guru’s voice inwardly and most powerfully commanding me, “No! No you must breathe! You must try!” And I did breathe. It was a really tough night, very difficult night, but I did breathe and stayed alive.

The next day, Guru came to the hospital. I was in the intensive care unit, and Guru came into the room.  I folded my hands and sat up. I was just like a child and was so happy to see Guru.

Guru said, “Good boy, can you see the light outside, can you see the light?” I said, “Yes Guru, yes Guru.” Then Guru said “From now on, no more darkness, no more darkness, only light, light.” Guru meditated on me and then he smiled and left the room.
I was so happy, I was crying. I was so grateful.

What happened then was absolutely amazing. The very minute that Guru left the room—the very minute!—all of a sudden I started to perspire profusely. My heart was beating fast because I was so happy and so excited and grateful to see Guru.  The nurses came running in and asked what was going on since my heart was beating fast and I was perspiring so much.

They said “What’s going on?” I said, “Everything’s wonderful! I’m so happy!”

What actually happens is that when you have a fever and the fever breaks, you perspire a lot. At the very moment that Guru left, after he gave that beautiful message and blessed me, the fever broke. Nothing the doctors could do could save me. But Guru came and saved my life.

The doctors said, “We have no idea what happened to you, but a miracle has happened.”

I said, “I can tell you what the miracle was. It was my Guru.”

I was in the hospital for quite a while, but slowly, slowly, I got better and better and better.

Unlike human doctors,
God cures the patients
With unseen medicine.

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. Seventy-Seven Thousand Service-Trees, part 23, #22359, Agni Press, 2001